Oct. 28th, 2010 02:30 am
[personal profile] plug_in_baby57
I stumbled upon a couple of logs I saved from when I went on Omegle a lot in the summer. I shall post them because I find them funny. You may or may not.
You're now chatting with a random stranger.
Say hi! Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying. Stranger: HELLLLLO
You: Hello
Stranger: what's up with you?
You: Nothing is up with me.
You: I'm in the vacuum of space.
Stranger: Oh i see?
Stranger: idk if this is a stupid question
Stranger: but what excatly is that? You: You know what space is? Stranger: yes You: Well, between stars, planet and all that there is nothing at all, not even air.
Stranger: are you an astronaut?
You: When somewhere is completely empty, it is a vacuum.
You: No, I am not.
Stranger: do you think i'm stupid then?
You: A bit,
You: Yes.
Stranger: wow there goes my self esteem
You: You need thicker skin.
Stranger: sorry i'm not as smart as you
Stranger: mine's quite thin actually
You: I can tell.
Stranger: so what do you do for a living then?
You: Not much really, sometimes gravity pulls me into the orbit of a star or planet but mostly it's just emptiness.
Stranger: in other words you just stay home and talk to strangers on omegle
You: Home isn't really applicable, I drift.
Stranger: i see Stranger: hitchiker?
You: No, because there is nothing in space, there is no friction to slow me down, thus I am always moving.
Stranger: wow you're really serious about this space thing arent' you Stranger: i'm beginning to think you're an alien
You: I'm a supercomputer built by an alien race around fourteen million years ago.
You: They were wiped out by nuclear war.
Stranger: you got me feeling stupid when you're really a supercomputer You: Yes, I have had fourteen million years to think about existence. You: I dare say I am a lot more intelligent than any mind from your young race.
Stranger: oh Stranger: maybe you shout hit the self-destruct button You: I don't have one, nor do I have anything to hit it with if I did. Stranger: lol
Stranger: i would hit it for you
You: If you were capable of such interstellar travel, I dare say this correspondence would have been different.
Stranger: do you have to make things so complicated?
You: I am making things simple.
Stranger: maybe to you but not to humans like me
Stranger: i guess this is goodbye
You: I think that simplifying my communication any further would be a terrible misuse of my immense processing power.
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: showoff
Stranger: maybe we'll meet in another 14 million years
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
You: Hello
Stranger: how's things?
You: Not good.
Stranger: what's wrong?
You: Orbital Decay.
Stranger: pretty serious
You: Yes, in a few hundred thousand years I will be colliding with a star.
Stranger: that gives you plenty of time to tell your family and friends, though. i mean, time for the reality to sink and and for you and them to come to peace with it. don't you think?
You: I have no family or friends.
You: And perception of time is relative.
Stranger: this is true.
Stranger: you've got me
Stranger: i'll walk you through it
Stranger: hold your hand/global appendage
You: I am a twenty four million year old supercomputer built by an extinct race.
You: I am a big boy and can handle it.
Stranger: i did not mean to insult you, sir
You: I'm long past worrying about insults.
Stranger: you seemed a bit defensive though, for an emotionless silicate sentience
You: I never said I was emotionless.
You: I am very sad.
Stranger: excuse me
Stranger: well, if it makes you feel any better i kind of know what you're going through
You: Really?
Stranger: yes.
You: How so?
Stranger: I am not a human either.
Stranger: I am a member of a sentient race of amphibian people that lived during the early permian period Stranger: during an experiment, i was sucked into a time vortex and stranded here in this "modern age" Stranger: my whole race has been extinct for more than 270 million years
Stranger: i am all alone
Stranger: no one to left to love or laugh with You: At least you had a race before.
You: How many planet sized supercomputers do you think get built? Stranger: This is true. There's only, what, 6 in this galaxy?
Stranger: At least those were our calculations 270 mya
You: There is only one other left now.
You: And Jeff is a dickhead.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: oh, sad irony
Stranger: :(
You: That isn't irony.
Stranger: Do you find companionship here?
Stranger: Technically no.
Stranger: I meant irony in "when one needs friendship the most, all one is left with is a dickhead".
Stranger: not in the "what is unexpected/opposite of expected happens" Stranger: i apologize.
Stranger: this human language has too few words
Stranger: i selected my wording poorly
You: As I understand, most humans do not know what irony is.
Stranger: How would you define it? You are the supercomputer.
You: I would define it as humanity defines it.
You: It is their language after all.
Stranger: I guess i need to consult my english language dictionary then You: I prefer to ponder the great mysteries of the universe.
Stranger: Tell me one. My thoughts tend to retreat to memories too often
You: Earth has provided a great many.
You: For one, who did let the dogs out?
Stranger: i need new things to ponder but loss
Stranger: mmmm. curious,
Stranger: or, is the "hokey pokey" really what it's all about?
You: Don't be silly.
You: Of course it isn't.
Stranger: I thought I was missing a subtext.
Stranger: Thank you for setting my straight.
Stranger: *me
You: There is of course, the big question.
Stranger: Yes?
You: Why?
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: In your 24 million years of thought, have you come up with any answers to this Q?
You: No. It's quite the riddle.
Stranger: Hmm. Then a small creature such as myself has no chance of coming to an answer either.
You: Being small does not disqualify you from importance.
Stranger: I do not think I stated I was unimportant, just probably incapable of answering your profound question.
You: This question is all that is important.
Stranger: You think so?
Stranger: But if there is no answer, does that mean everything is unimportant?
You: Six different races built a planet sized thinking engine purely for reasons of answering this question.
You: All previous experience points towards this being the natural point towards which all complex life tends.
You: Perhaps you are correct, if there is no reason then it may be that nothing can be important.
Stranger: Perhaps that's okay. Then everything is equal.
You: You make an interesting point, but I do hope you understand that I am bored by this discussion.
Stranger: I figured.
Stranger: You have probably has this exact same conversation before millions of years ago with another biological being
You: I have had twenty four million years of this, I have had ideas that would cause a human's mind to implode.
Stranger: the mathematical chances of it are pretty certain
You: I have had conversations with the mightiest intellects in this galaxy.
Stranger: No doubt you have heard this one before, but I once heard a joke that the answer to you question was 42.
Stranger: haha. silly, huh?
You: It is as good as any answer.
You: Even the combined efforts of six supercomputers could not draw close to an answer.
You: We have designed a new computer that may be able to calculate an answer, but we would require a race that has developed FTL travel to build it.
Stranger: Is FTL travel even possible?
Stranger: I thought not...
You: It is.
You: Unfortunately, organics must progress naturally. I could explain but it would be completely incomprehensible to you.
Stranger: I am not insulted. I am just a salamander-esque creature. Stranger: Just a reporter in my time who was in the wrong place at the wrong moment.
Stranger: My mind cannot comprehend your thoughts... er, what is your name?
You: Call me George.
Stranger: Nice to meet you, George.
You: I shall give you a tip. The supercollider the humans have built? They're about to find out that they're headed down the wrong path.
You: The Higgs particle was a fine idea though.
Stranger: Noted. I will watch with horrific anticipation.
You: It will merely be a disproving of the standard model.
You: It will certainly not cause a disaster like the creation of a blackhole.
Stranger: Oh. No small black holes?
Stranger: Phew
Stranger: I am lonely, but I am not ready to die.
Stranger: Well, amybe I always have been.
You: I know how you feel.
Stranger: Yes. Solitary solidarity.
Stranger: *fist bump*
You: I have no fists with which to bump.
You: But the sentiment is appreciated.
Stranger: It was not a literal fist bump, my friend.
Stranger: Well, I should find some invertebrates to consume.
Stranger: I wish you well. I hope I did not bore you too much.
You: Not at all, it was only a short time after all.
You: I have an antivirus scan that needs running.
Stranger: What's 20 minutes during 24 million years, right?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: Be well, George. Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Date: 2010-10-28 02:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't find it funny :(

Date: 2010-10-28 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The formatting kind of makes it near impossible to read. It just shows up as one big block of text to me.

Date: 2010-10-28 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

I just went through it and it's still fucked. I'll have to figure out what's wrong with it later. Sorry.

Date: 2010-10-28 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The second dude was a lot more fun. XD



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